Ohhhhhhhhh Dion!!

So I needed to get a photo of Dion in all her St. Patrick's Day glory. Afterall, it's not easy being a girl - ESPECIALLY the high maintenance girl that she is. So I explain to her that I wanted to get a picture of her to put on Facebook in her green and gold outfit. Okay now in order to prepare yourself for what follows you have to understand a few things about Dion.
First, she is very confident. Now I like to think I've put emphasis on the more important things about who we are besides looks- like being kind, a good example of a Chistian, doing our best, working hard, being smart, making good choices, etc. But I guess because Dion has always been told by a lot of people how "cute" or "pretty" she is she now whole-heartedly stands in that truth. Secondly, she looooves the camera, not just having her picture taken but loves to take pictures as well. But if you need to take a photo, she's the LAST one you'll have to tell to pay attention and smile. If I didn't know better I'd tell you she invented vogueing herself. Infact, from what I understand, she directed our poor family photographer last month on which photos she should take, where she should take then, at what angle, and when she should take them according to the pose Dion was arranging herself in. Third, she's slightly critical of herself at times. This might sound contradictory to number one, but it's not - it provides what little balance there is for her. At the age of 4 she was already having bad hair days. Unfortunately I will take responsibility for that one. I am the first one to complain about my three chins, my bubble butt, my newly developed teenage acne at the age of 30, and anything else that might slightly annoy me. So naturally, being as impressionable as our young are, she has picked up on that. (I would like to have do-overs on that one.) Fourth, she has an INCREDIBLE eye for fashion. And I can say that why you ask? I mean I just finally purged my closets of shirts I had since Shane was little, and he's 13. Well, I knew that when Dion was 3 and came out of her room head to toe in an outfit that looked like Stevie Wonder picked out. She was wearing stripes AND flowers!! And I thought that was no-no numero uno! She had a skirt on... with JEANS under it!! In an effort to be gentle to her three-year-old spirit I said, "Dion, honey, let Mommy help you pick something out." She stopped, looked at me, looked herself up and down from toes to shoulder, looked back at me and said, quite flabergasted, "Why?? This is soooo fashion!". I thought I knew then that I was in trouble. I didn't. I didn't even know the half of it. Even a couple years later when I was getting ready to go to a dinner and came walking down the hall feeling quite snazzy (for those mom's out there I'm sure you can relate. Snazzy = no snot/slober/spitup marks on your black over-sized shirt and out-dated bulky boot-like "heels" instead of the usual sneakers.) Dion, sparing no feelings of mine, QUICKLY INFORMED me she would help ME pick something out. This is Dion. And we love her for it.
Now you are prepared for a play by play of the events as they took place after I told Dion I wanted to take a photo of her earlier tonight.
"Dion, can I take a quick picture of you please for Facebook." (grabbing my phone)
"Okay Mom. Here we go." (positioning herself under the light) "I'm going to make a kissy face and then you can put on the caption, "Kiss me, I'm Irish. Well only a little. hahaha. el oh el el oh el oh (lol lol)" (yes, she even captioned her OWN photo!)

Now before my brain even had TIME to process the photo she was standing next to me pawing at my arm to lower the camera so she could approve it. "Okay no! That's awful. Look at my eyes! They're HUGE! Delete it. Let's go again." positioning herself back under the light. I laughed, told her it was good, then reset for try #2.

Now that photo took me a couple tries cause I could barely hold the camera still after I noticed, in an apparent effort to make her eyes less "huge" ,she was now squinting. She rushed to me hopeful it was a go. "OH ..... MY.... GOSH...!! NO!! DELETE!!" Yes, she is getting exasperated after only TWO photos. She's used to being quite photogenic and not having to try much for a good photo. "RETAKE!!!" This time her walk back to her mark was a bit less enthusiastic. "Okay, I'm not going to blow a kiss now! That's not working!!"

Now mind you I'm in hysterics. We're 5 minutes in to a simple snap shot at this point and she's getting more and more annoyed by the minute. She looks at the camera... "Oh hello little fishy," she says, "What the heck!!" I DIED!! Now in my head, while I was taking the photo, I thought... hmmm, I wonder if I should tell her that she looks like she's making a fishy face instead of a kissy face. Then I thought better of that idea seeing as at this point I just wanted to send a photo, any photo, to Facebook and carry on with my evening.
"Okay! I'm serious now! (like she hadn't been) Go again!"

 Okay, now here's where I have to own my part in this mini drama. This was a good picture. I told her right after I took it, "Oh this one is good!" Her run to me to approve of the picture had diminished to a disgusted saunter. She studied the picture, paused for a second, then said, "Eh, it's oooooookay." Here comes my mistake. I said, "Well you can't really see your hair bow, which is super cute and St. Patricky, but it's still good." Well I should've known that Dion doesn't do "good" pictures. Stomping back to her, at this point, slightly indented spot in the carpet, she sets up for a picture that was sure to fix the lack of bow exposure.

Did I mention in the set up for this story that Dion can sometimes exaggerate things? She is a mini-extremist of sorts. She was the one who, when she had her lisp, was either "starbing" or "not starbing". At this point I'm in tears. Although she isn't finding this seemingly insurmountable task amusing in the least, I am busting a gut!! Which only made her more determined to get an "postable photo". "Okay, Dion. I get your drift (another blog in and of itself!)."

Notice in this last photo the small poof in her right belly region, where her pocket is. Dion put's her hand sideways over her forehead, "WHO needs this picture up there? Cause that one looks like I have a big ol' fat pooch right there!" pointing at the marshmellowy looking puff. "It does not!!" I reassured her. "LAST TIME!!" she growled.

Well, when all was said and done she went back to photo #4.  lol.

I'm taking donations now for her therapy fund.