"Thou arst forbidden to converst in the manner of which mighteth be hateful."

So my girls have been entering this stage of decreased patience with one another, decreased as in the negative numbers now.  And not only do they snip at each other, they do so in a tone that would send a grown man to his room crying.  Now I used to teach them they could say what they felt they needed to or wanted to as long as they said it nicely or in an acceptable tone, cause that's what I was taught.  But having three girls all close by in age and entering uberty-pay has forced me to rethink this golden rule. 

Here is the new rule:

You may NOT say anything you want or need to as long as you say it nicely, cause things people think in the midst of emotions are not always worth saying.  Even if you think you mean them, doesn't make you correct and doesn't give you the right to force that feeling/thought onto someone else just because you said it all coated in sugar and sprinkled with glitter. 

So the other night Lacey and Dion were having a little spat somewhere about something (you're lucky I remembered to put clothes on today; the specifics of this event are likely nowhere to be found in my brain matter anywhere).  I don't remember hearing what they were saying, I just remember hearing it come out of their mouths like daggers... I could imagine the spit that was likely flying.  So I told them to sit down and write, 50 times each.  Dion had to write, "I will not talk meanly." And Lacey had to write, "I will not talk hatefully." They turned their papers in to me sometime later and upon review here is what Lacey had taken the initiative to include in the last few sentences of hers:

"Thou shalt not talk in the English language in a hateful manner."
"Thou shalt not talk in any language in a hateful manner."

and my favorite,

"Thou arst forbidden to converst in the manner of which mighteth be hateful."

We discussed my expectations for their exchanges, and they explained they understood and would work on it. 

Emotions are a tricky thing to handle, they're even trickier when they are provoked by hormones.  I assure you, a person who holds their tongue and keeps from saying hurtful things in the midst of emotions does not EVER regret not saying them. They can always consider saying them later at a more objective time and in a hopefully constructive manner if they really feel it's their place to share.  However, the people who are quick to speak mean things, no matter if it's the truth or not or if they use the nicest tone ever, don't ever get to take them back and more often than not wish they could.  Don't make me make you write sentences!! ;)