Hit me with your "Pet Shop"!!

Ok, so I'm sitting here putting up pics and the movie 'Bring It On Again' that Dion was watching ends.  While they are rolling the credits the song 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' comes on.  Dion's on the couch brushing her hair waiting for me to curl it (she's going through a stage, lol) and I hear her singing... 

'Won't you hit me with your Pet Shop!!  Oh oh oh oh oh oh...  Oh yeahahaheaeaeaea...'

So, I ask her... 'What are you singing, Dion?' trying not to die laughing.  She says, 'Hit me with your Pet Shop.'  I'm like, 'Uhm, ok... but what does that mean?'  She looks at me, confused for a second... I suppose wondering if I'm serious, cause she says, 'Uhm, Mom... it means you take a Pet Shop and you hit someone with it.'  'Well why would you do that?' I asked about to burst at the seams trying not to laugh.  'I don't know... I didn't write the song, I'm just singing it.' she says, condescendingly, as she's walking away.

Omgosh that child.  lol.  She is good for my endorphins.  lol. 

Instantly heart-broken, instantly...

So I'm sitting here shopping online and the kids are busy telling me what they want for Christmas.  Savannah just came up and grabbed my shoulder (with her Funyun chip covered hands) and said all excitedly with her eyebrows near her hairline... 

"Do you know what I want for Christmas, Mom!?!??!?"  

I say (fully expecting it to be something from whatever commercial was just on 15 seconds ago), "What, Hun?".  

...

...

...

"A DAD!!!" she says...

...

...

...

...

I'll be under my rock if anyone is looking for me.

Peace out.

I am NOT fragile! Who said I was!??! Oh yeah, me.

Okay so I was very obviously having a moment when I typed that last blog, and I've been meaning to return to rectify that situation but haven't made the time.  I'm not going to ramble on with a bunch of useless information and reasons why I am not fragile afterall.  I know, surprising huh?  Me?  Not ramble?!!??!  Is that even possible??!  But the people who matter and who care about me and my kids already know the sorted details.  The bottom line is that I have four of THE MOST amazing kids to walk this Earth, truly.  And considering what they've gone through in their short lifetimes they are the most deserving kids of everything they could ever want.  Which is why I'm going to work hard and diligently and make whatever sacrifices necessary to provide them with that.  And I know I can do it, even if it's just me by myself for the rest of my life.

So that's that.  And thanks to those who were supportive of my weak, self-pitying sob story and who encouraged me.  

God Bless!

♥~me~

I'm fragile.

That's what I figured out - that I'm fragile. Part of me is anyhow. And I also realized that the sooner I make myself accept that and be okay with it, the easier hard times will be. Whenever things aren't going right or I feel overwhelmed, whatever the issues at hand are, they get magnified by the fact that I become so hard on myself for feeling overwhelmed or down. Instead of admitting to myself that I'm struggling with whatever (emotionally struggles, financial, physical... whatever) I get disappointed in myself and feel like a failure. There was point in time when I let myself cry. When I admitted I had needs. When I didn't feel like I had to carry the world on my shoulders. But in the last several years - since I've been on my own taking care of everything, I've walled the part of me off that is fragile and imperfect. That part that needs other people. I'm not cold by any means. And I'm not feeling sorry for myself, not for one second. I just don't like feeling like a burden and inconveniencing people so I've become overly independent. And my coping mechanism has ALWAYS been denial so I just keep on keepin' on. I don't know if any of this is making sense at this point. I just know earlier today I told myself,

"Self, snap out of it. It's okay to stop and feel overwhelmed. Kicking your own ass because you feel like you're drowning and it's all your fault isn't going to get you anywhere. Self, pick your head up, know you're actually NOT invincible no matter how much you think you are or want to be and keep going, try harder, don't give up."

Well I was a bit more disgusted with myself when the conversation actually took place earlier, but that was the G-rated version. ;) And yes, I talk to myself from time to time. :P

Anyway, I decided to concern myself with today and let God worry about tomorrow.

"If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."-Vincent Van Gogh

Little spitfire, she is.

I'm sure most of you who know me personally know exactly who I'm talking about by the subject matter alone. Yes, that'd be Miss Dion Marie. ;) She is 4 1/2 now going on a very sarcastic 12. Even worse for me is how incredible smart and quick she is. I'd like to go ahead and take credit for it... so I will. :) Anyway, recently we met someone and they say the word 'Dude' incessantly. Even though I'm slightly annoyed by it, we got used to it and unfortunately Dion actually began saying it from time to time. Anyway, there are probably a dozen times a day that I think to sit down and share a story with you guys about how entertaining she is. But it'd really be a full time job and by the time I come to sit down I've usually forgotten what it was. Anyway, on with the story...

So I'm in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and I hear the blinds on the patio door banging around. Not being able to see over the counter top I say, "Whoever's messing with the blinds needs to stop please." It's quiet for a second. Then I can see the blinds moving again. I move down the counter top so I can see over it and there's Dion, her back to me, messing with one of the slats on the blinds. I said, a bit more stern, "Dion, stop touching those please." She slams her hands down at her sides and says, in a VERY condescending voice, "I'm fixing dem, Dude! Stop lelling at me. Geesh!" (yelling, but she still has a speech inpediment at times despite 4 months of speech therapy.) I'm kinda speechless for a second at this point because she's kinda right. lol. So I say, "Ok, well thank-you. Next time just tell me that." She comes around the corner, comes up to me, and smacks me on the butt and say, "Otay Dude. I'll do dat den. Tate a chill pill, Dude." No, I'm not kidding you. That is PRECISELY how it went down.

OH MY GOSH WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH HER!?!??! lol.

Why is there a snake in my living room??

So my place is surrounded by fields and I know there are snakes, but never should I be expected to anticipate one crawling onto my patio and into my living room from underneath my patio door. Ugh!

It was around 11 p.m. last night (yes, 12 hours later I'm still worked up over it!) and my kids had gotten to bed late. I was sitting at my desk in the living room attempting homework/playing mobsters instead (lol) and I got up from my desk to walk across the living room to the kitchen to get a drink and there it was, slithering across the rug almost to the kitchen floor. I scream, but of course!! And jumped back. Apppaaaarently THE SNAKE didn't appreciate ME startling it!! So he coils up and rears back like he's going to strike. Wteff ever dude... you're in MY HOUSE!! So I'm pacing in the living... trying to rack my brain on who the heck I'm going to call at 11 o'clock at night to come get a snake out of my house. Mind you had it been a rattle snake I'da died of heart failure almost instanteously. However, it was a black and white king snake. BIG though, lemme tell ya! Of course it could have been the size of a worm and it would have been too large to be in my house. So I have the phone in my hand and I'm standing on the ottoman and Lacey comes walking down the hallway to see why I screamed. Well shes sees it from the hallway and FREAKS out running back down the hallway. THEN the phone rings, while in my hand, and seeing as I'm on pins and needles as it is I end up practically hanging from the ceiling that's how high it made me jump. It was my mom, I answered it, "OH MY F*^ING GOSH, MOM!!" (Mind you for those of you who know me and my parents... uhmm cussing is NOT very common at all, lol.) I said, "THERE IS A SNAKE IN MY HOUSE!"

Anyway, I'm about to call the fire department or police or something cause I can't think of anyone shilverish enough to come save me from a snake at 11:00 at night. lol. Then I remember that the girl across the way from me has just recently started seeing this guy.. maybe he's there. But I don't want to lose sight of the snake. Then I noticed the snake was hanging a hard right into the kitchen... all I can think is NOOO, NOT UNDER THE FRIDGE or up into the cupboards. So I toss a sweater over the kitchen bar/counter from the living room onto the kitchen floor. Not only did it do the trick and turn him around but it pissed him off even more. I mean, I know the whole "Oh, he's just as scared of you as you are of him. And all he's trying to do is get away." Wellllllllllll, I call bullshit on this one cause this snake wanted a piece of anyone and anything. So he strikes at the sweater and turns around and goes toward the dining room. Which is acceptable to me cause there was really no place for him to hid in there and that gave me time to run across to the neighbors.

So I pound on her door, and I mean pound, "BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!" with the end of my closed fist (the neighbor said later she coulda swore it was the cops, lol." She answers and before she can even say hi I interrupted her, "Is your boyfriend here?!??!" I said. lol. She's probably thinking, "What the heck do you want with my boyfriend at 11:00 at night??? lol. Well I saw it on her face so I followed it up with, "And is he afraid of snakes?? Cause there is a snake in my house and I REALLY need someone to get it out!" So she says, "Yeah, he's here and no, I don't think he's afraid of snake." So the guy gets up and they follow me back to my place. I open the door and point across the living room into the dining room and tell him that it's somewhere over there. Anyway, he picked it up and carried it out.

Needless to say I sat in my desk chair with my feet up for hours. I couldn't walk past the patio door without instant chills. Even now... grrrrrr...

Alright, that settles it. I need a man around the house. lol.

Chasing Pavements...

It's almost 9:00 p.m. I'm exhausted - in every way possible. I probably shouldn't write when I'm feeling like this - at least not in a public blog at any rate. Yet, here I am. Mostly because I don't talk to the person I used to vent to anymore. And I don't feel comfortable calling anyone else up right now and venting. I shouldn't vent to anyone probably. Who wants to listen to that?? lol. He'd listen to me though. And then he'd tell me to get on with it. And make some rude joke that would make me laugh and roll my eyes. I rolled my eyes a lot. lol. Anyway...

I just finished some Physiology homework. And although I have a ton more to be working on I think I'm going to call it good for today on that. And even though I'd like to just go crawl in bed and have this day be over, not that tomorrow will be much better, I shouldn't. I think I'm going to take 2 Excedrin and clean for the next 3-4 hours. My house needs it. It was a hectic holiday weekend, this last weekend was, and boy am I behind, on everything.

I hate feeling so negative. As I sit here and think about what to type next nothing but bitching comes to mind. (Pardon the language Grammie.) There are these people that moved in above me. And they are delinquents. The cops have been here at least 4-5 times in the last month because of them. They are in gangs and deal drugs. Lovely, huh. I hate apartment living. I always thought of myself as a fairly tolerant person. Uhmmmm, I now know better. And it's not everyone. A few of the people are alright. But boy can one person ruin it for everyone. Then I hear myself complaining about it and I smack myself around a bit. I mean, criminy Heather, some people don't even have a roof over their heads. Let alone an affordable, brand new, 4 bedroom, 1300 sq ft. apartment with a pool and gym and club house. Then I remember what it was like to have a back yard for the kids. For them to be able to go out and ride their bikes whenever they wanted. To be able to lay in bed and not listen to what sounds like a herd of elephants doing the Irish jig on the dining room floor in tap shoes above me. To be able to walk out to my car in the driveway and not have 20 people staring at me. To be able to sit on the back patio and BBQ. Ugh. If my old life wasn't so morally unacceptable (and unsafe) I'd almost want it back sometimes - just for the kids' sakes. I go on and on about me being miserable here - but most of that stems from them being so miserable. And even deeper than that is the fact that I feel like I'm failing them. Like I'm disappointing them. They aren't spoiled brats by any means. And never do they say anything intentionally hurtful about our lives. But they do say things, innocently, accidentally even sometimes, that slice my heart open in an instant. I won't quote any of those things cause I'm already tearing up and I'm too tired to cry.

Well enough is enough I suppose. I'm being a stroppy cow. I need to pray about my attitude and just keep busy doing something everyday to get me closer to reaching my goals and bettering our life. Someday I'll be able to give my kids the things they need and want, let's just hope it's not when those things are dentures and hearing aids. :P

Oh, and never do I talk about this aspect of my life, with anyone for the most part. But I am honestly beginning to believe I will be single forever. And depending on when you ask me, I'm okay with it. But sometimes, I'm not. Sometimes... I'd like to not always have to be the strong one. I'd like to not always be the one who has to have the answers. Who has to reassure everyone else that it will be okay; we will be okay. I want to be reassured. But that's selfish. And I pride myself on being selfless. So that's all you'll hear me say on that topic.

Sometimes all we can do is chase pavements, even if they lead nowhere...

Changes Galore!

Hello All!

There are a lot of things going on these days. A lot of changes. Some for the better; some not so welcomed. Nonetheless, onward!

So I'm not sure if I should just brush a little on each topic in this blog and then elaborate later (because the second half of that sentence will likely not happen). Or if I should just write a novel now. The problem with the novel now is that I am supposed to be getting ready to go camping. I still have A LOT to do just and since I've just tucked the kids in I should probably be running around doing all that jazz so I can get to bed at a decent time. Hmmm... well I'll just start talking/typing and we'll see where we end up then.

I suppose I'll start with oldest news first. I got fired. lol. That was straight to the point, eh. Very much so not my style, I agree. So that it doesn't sound so tragic I guess I should say I was "let go". But the bottom line is as of Wednesday the 28th I was suddenly unemployed. I knew the company was having a rough time (after all, I am, oops WAS, in charge of all the accounting) with finances. It's a turbo company. Gas prices are so high I choke a little every time I drive by a gas station. I kid you not, it goes up AT LEAST 3 times PER DAY! Ridiculous! Anyhow, people can barely afford to put gas in their vehicles let alone spend several hundred dollars, sometimes thousands, on "unnecessary" upgrades such as turbos. Additionally, most of our sales were to customers who had side hobbies involving rock climbing jeeps or recreational racing. Those people are also not pulling their "toys" out of the garages this summer because they simply can't afford to, let alone upgrade them. So it was understandable that they couldn't afford payroll. Myself and the shop guys were let go while the company gets itself back on it's feet (if that happens remains to be seen). I know that if I'm available when/if they can afford to hire again they would love to have me back. And my boss was quite distraught when he had to sit down and tell me. So there aren't any hard feelings. I was a bit bummed there was not even so much as a warning not to mention a 2-week notice. Oh well. It is what it is. So that's that bit of news. The timing was somewhat of a blessing as it was just a week and two days before the kids got out of school for the summer. So I got a good week at home, just Dion and I, catching up on our time together. And now I've been able to be at home with all of the kids for the last week. I miss it. I miss being a mom. I always wondered what it would be like to go to work. And I found out - it was heart wrenching. But I adjusted; the kids adjusted. We work together well especially when we have little options. But I missed being at home with them. I miss having a clean and organised house. I miss the laundry always being done. I miss dinners - good dinners, sitting down at the table dinners. Not flying low through the drive through on the way home from the sitters. Not standing at the kitchen counter being a short order cook throwing together 4 different meals for each of the kids. I am a homemaker. That is what I love to do, and, if I do say so myself, what I'm very good at. That's not to say people can't do both - work and be excellent homemakers. I can. I did. I'd just prefer not to. Being single and having four kids makes that slightly unrealistic. Okay - that was an understatement. It makes it not feasible. So I've been looking for another job. I have options, which is not the greatest thing to have if you're me because I can be quite indecisive. Don't confuse that with unopinionated by any means. But I'd get advice on what kind of spaghetti noodles to purchase if I could. I still have my foster care license and have received calls for placements, but am, for the first time ever, holding my ground on what I know to be best for my family right now. We can adjust ourselves to a newborn, a medically fragile/special needs newborn is great. But I have had to say no to 18-month-olds, 4 year-olds, and every age in between because it would just not work for our family right now. The kids need my attention. They don't need to compete with a tantrum throwing, toy flinging, out of control 20-month-old drug exposed toddler. They just don't. They are at great ages for traveling and doing things and a newborn is FAR easier to take with us or to find a sitter for than a toddler. But I've been praying about the foster care direction and if I get the perfect call for the right placement I'll know it. If not - onward. I also am scheduled to complete my daycare license application the first week in July. That's an option. Although I just said my kids don't need to compete there is a BIG difference between daycare and foster care. Namely daycare kids go home. We have our evenings and weekends to do with what we'd like when doing daycare. We have holidays. And it's better money than foster care. Although the house situation isn't the greatest it's also not the worst. It's workable. So that's another direction. Other than that there are a few other things that I can do. I'm slightly stressed but have never had any trouble finding work if I needed to before so I have faith... for the moment, for THIS moment more specifically. lol.

Next, I start my summer class on Monday. Physiology. It's completely online and it's with the same school and same teacher as was my Anatomy course that I took last summer and got an 'A' in. I think it'll be okay. I really have to get an 'A' so I'll be busting butt making sure it happens. Plus I like Physiology... much better than I did Anatomy and Chemistry and I got 'A's in both of those, so... hopefully. We'll see. I will be done with my prerequisite this Fall so I am able to apply to the nursing program this August!! YAY! I'll have my AS at the end of the Fall '08 semester. :) Depending on how long I have to wait to get into nursing school I'll finish up my AA in the Spring and then be ready to transfer to Chico State to start working on my BS in Nursing. So if I get accepted into the nursing program right away then GREAT! If not, it's okay because I'll already be working on the rest of the stuff I'll need for when I'm done with the nursing program in order to graduate with a BS. Once I've the BS I can do a couple more years if I want and go on to the program that UC Davis offers to become a FNP (Family Nurse Practitioner). So, although long and difficult... I'm still very much so traveling down this road and am excited about it. The kids are excited for me.

Speaking of kiddos... they are getting SOOOO big!! I sit in awe daily at how fast it is going. Shane is 10 and now officially a 5th grader. He finished the 4th grade with a solid 'B' average, and although we had the discussion over the fact that he is capable of better - his teacher said he was a wonderful student, a hard worker, and very respectful. What else could I ask for? He's well above my shoulder now and I'm sure it'll just be a matter of time before that handsome boy is taller than me. But he knows I can still run faster than he can and will take him out in a heartbeat if necessary so I'm not worried. lol. I'm not worried because he's such a great kid. So sensitive and considerate. He has a tremendous heart and I'm so very proud of the little man he's becoming despite all odds with the example he was dealt. Miss Lacey Mae is now 8 and just flew through the 2nd grade like it was a piece of cake. Her teacher beams with pride every time he talks about how fantastic she is and how effortless 3rd grade will be for Lacey. And thankfully she's such a proud big sister that she very much so "tutors" the younger two girls. And for that let me just tell you how thankful I am!! :) Savannah just graduated Kindergarten and is now a 1st grader! My Savannah Lee!! A FIRST GRADER! What is this?? Warp speed? She's six but her teacher insists she's going to be 12. Savannah is definitely going to be the teacher's pet throughout her school career, but she is still able to remain beyond sweet and helpful so she has all the other kids wanting to be her friend. But she's very humble about it - in fact I don't even think she's noticed what a superstar she is to everyone in her class. Now... how to transfer some of that to Dion. haha! Dion will be embarking on her school career when she makes her Pre-School debut this Fall. I was at the school filling out papers for her the other day and I kept putting down Savannah's information. For some reason, and I won't claim to not know why, but I refused to allow myself to believe my baby girl is going off to school. She is very excited and unlike all other kids on Earth can't wait for summer to be over so she can "doe to schul". Speaking of her speech impediment - she is still going to Speech Therapy twice a week and has astounded her therapist, Lisa, by the rate of speed Dion picks up everything and also how hard Dion works. Lisa wants to keep Dion in the program forever because it gives her something to look forward to twice a week. lol.

Oh, oh... I let all three of the girls get their hair cut. Once the weather started getting warmer they all wanted their hair chopped. I, needless to say, was against the idea. But, in their defense - I am horrible at doing hair. Not because I suck. But because I have no sympathy. I have a hard head - I yank through my hair every morning and don't bat an eye. But the girls seem to have sensitive little scalps and none of them appreciate me mowing through it with a brush every morning. So, to waylay the cries from the girls when I announce it's time to do hair I let them cut it. My friend, Lauren, did it and I think they look ADORABLE!! Not to mention we haven't had a tear shed while doing hair since we got it cut. :)

BEFORE:
Dion Marie (4)

Savannah Lee (6)

Lacey Mae (8)

AFTER:

Wow, this is a novel. Is anyone still with me? lol. There is more, believe it or not. But my back is hurting and all I can think of is the camping gear sitting here and there and everywhere waiting to be packed up and stacked by the front door. So I will bid thee farewell. Thanks for checking in. :) I hope this finds you all happy and healthy. Until next time, God Bless!

~me

The Nineteen Hundreds.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Isn't it true, the saying, "Out of the mouth of babes!"? Well I've four babes, albeit growing-like-weed babes, but nonetheless. And if I wrote about EVERY hysterically funny, often emberassing, reality jolting comments my kids made I'd be at my desk all day writing. Oftentimes I don't see that that would be too bad of a thing as my kids have quite the wisdom to bestow upon the world, oh yes they do. lol.

So Sunday night we're lounging around watching t.v. They were all in their p.j.'s and suppose to be in bed but I let them stay up to watch "Deal or No Deal". I'm sitting in the rocking chair with Dion falling asleep on my lap and a Wells Fargo Bank Commercial comes on. You know, the ones with the old fashion horse and wagon running around wildly. The commercial ends and the silence is broken by Lacey Mae, who is now 8 going on 14. She says, "Mom, when you were little like me were there cars yet? Or did you just have horses and buggies? You know, Mom, back in the nineteen hundreds." I sat there for a second, thoroughly confused... I mean up until this point I was always so proud of how brilliant Lacey was. She did everything early. Walked at 8 months. Potty trained at a year old. Was the first one in her class to read. Pretty much has half the Bible memorized. But she wants to know if I was alive THAT LONG AGO!!??! Thanks Lace. As if I already didn't feel old enough. lol. I said, in a full-blown effort not to be condenscending, "Uhm, no, Sweetie. There were cars.". "Oh, ok. I was just wondering." she says. lol.

Perception is an amazing thing when you look through the eyes of children. And actually it becomes an amazing thing when you look through the eyes of anyone else but your own.

Lacey quickly redeemed herself. As she was brushing her teeth a bit later, her little brain OBVIOUSLY at work there at the bathroom sink, she sticks her head out of the bathroom door and into the hallway. I was standing at the kitchen counter. "Mom," she says. I turned around. "Yeah?" I asked, bracing myself for the next BRILLIANT question from my eldest daughter. "Since you know everything, do you know what it is called when you have four babies. I know two is twins. Three is triplets. But what's four?" Ahhhhhh. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, Lacey, I do know.... since I know EVERYTHING. They are called quintuplets. Now finish your teeth and NEVER forget that I know EVERYTHING!! God gives me ALLLL the answers so that I can be the best mom to you. So you should always ask me if you have a question and if I think you need to know I'll tell you and you have to listen to me because I'm your mom and I know EVERYTHING. Remember that." Nearly breaking my arm to pat myself on the back for the quickness and astoundingly brilliant response I managed to come up with, I turned around before she could see me grin. And what do I hear her muffle under her voice as she turns to go back to the sink?? "Suuuuure you do, Mom. Whatever you say. It's YOUR story." Whaaaaaaaaaaat??? Oh no she just didn't!!!!

But yes, she very much so did. And when I paused for a second to fully appreciate the moment, you know - the moment in which you remember CLEARLY telling them the exact same thing some time previously, the moment when you hear your voice coming through their mouths... and I realized, again, as I often do, what a honour and privilege and HUGE RESPONSIBILITY raising these gifts from God is. That it is my hands, my words, my attitude that is molding and shaping these little, short, thieves of patience that I've running around here. And they make me want to try harder. They make me want to make better choices. They make me want to be a better person, a better mother, a better friend.

So, the point of this story is, if any of you are in need of some motivation I rent them out, dirt cheap, catch me on a good day and I'll pay you if you'll borrow them!!!! lol. I jest. I think my point is clear...

"Mmmmmm, tate!!"

So Dion crawled into bed with me this morning and snuggled up in front of me. Both of us on our side, her back to me, she shoved her butt into my stomach until she was nice and ontop of me practically. It was still early but I had to be getting up. I figured I'd lay there till she fell back asleep so I could get ready without her yapping my ear off. After a few minutes I felt her breathing heavy again so I attempted to slide out of bed. She stirred. I said, "I have to get up, Dion. It's time to get ready." She's says (with her eyes still shut) "I'm starbing." Mind you she's a little mini-extremist, don't know where she got that from :P, so she's never hungry; she's either starving or not starving. If I offer her something for a snack she'll say, "No tanks. I'm not starbing." lol. Anyhow, I say, "Well, come on then and get up. I'll get you something." She grins. I'm thinking.. okay, she's still asleep or something. Nope. She's Dion. She says, with her eyes still shut and now smiling, "Tan you bing me thom tate?" I laughed. "Uhmmm, how about no, Dion. You're not having cake for breakfast. Nice try though." Mind you her birthday celebration was Sunday and we've had leftover cake, so ever since then she's either been starving for cake or not starving for cake. So she rolls over, eyes STILL shut, STILL grining, she flings her arm over my mouth.. yes! her little forearm covering my mouth completely, and she says, "Shhh Mom. Jus do id. You tan bing me thom tate, Mom, you tan. Mmmmmm, tate!!!" I died laughing. "Get your arm off my mouth! And I'm not bringing you ANYTHING in MY bed let alone CAKE! Wake your little dreaming butt up!!" I told her. I got up out of bed. She giggled and rolled back over and said, "Fine den. I'm doing bact to seep." Toooooo funny that girl is. Cracks me up 24/7.

Here's her and Savannah's cakes from Sunday:

p.s.~ She's in speech therapy twice a week now. One of her sounds that she can't make, if you couldn't tell, is the "k" sound. "t" replaces "c" and "k" for most words. But she's getting better! She's such a hard worker at it. Personally, I adore her lisp and little speech impediment.

Look! There's Mrs. Burger!

Howdy! That seems like an appropriate greeting as the Round-Up just passed this last weekend and that's what this blog is about. Well not the Rodeo but the Round-Up Parade rather. I took my girls and my younger sister, Addie. It was surprisingly good weather considering the forecast made it seem like it would be miserable, which is often the case during the Round-Up. Every year, as far back as I can remember, it's been cold and rainy. This year was a tad windy and a bit chilly, but the sun was out so it made up for it. Shane didn't go because my dad took him to Cool April Nights in Redding with his cousin Marc. Cool April Nights is an old-fashion car show so it was a "guy thing".

Earlier though, before the parade started, I met Carmen at a pancake breakfast benefit that my grandpa (bless his heart) bought us tickets to. We had all my kids, her kids, and my little sister; that makes 7 kids between Carmen and I: in a packed multi-purpose room, with a BUNCH of cowpeople - mostly older at that. Carmen and I came to the agreement that it should be a universal rule... "People with children should get served FIRST." No if, ands, or buts about it. It doesn't matter if you haven't eaten since the night before and you've puked your guts up since then from drinking a bunch of beer at the rodeo with your shit-kickers on. GIVE THE KID A PANCAKE! Kids don't have patience - at least not at 9 in the morning when they are hungry and want to go to a parade. We survived it though. No spilt juice. No syrup in the hair. No forks on the ground even. All of which spell success when dining with 7 kids from the ages of 2 to 10. And no... we decided against taking any photos to capture the chaotic nature of this splendid meal... you'll just have to imagine how enjoyable it was. lol.

Anyhow, Carmen and her kids went onto Marc's little league game and Shane went with them so he could meet up with my dad later. The girls and I headed to the parade with our chairs. I guess when I was younger I got excited about parades? Maybe? But then you grow up. And a horse is a horse whether it has glitter and bows on it or not. And cars are cars whether you are passing them on the road or they are in a line honking their horns and revving their engines. But not through the eyes of a 6-year-old; it's not the same at all.

Example: The Burger King Float. Huh?? Come again?? Since when did Burger King have a float in a small-town parade? But they did. And guess who made a special appearance? Yep, you guessed it (did the title of the blog give it away any?) "Mrs. Burger" according to Savannah. We're sitting on the corner (never again mind you... by the time I could get a picture all I could see was everyone's ass as they turned the corner. I'm sure you'll notice the theme throughout the pics. Just remember - it's NOT cause Wrangler Butts Drive Me Nuts (cause they don't so much)... it's just because we were sitting on a stupid corner.) So anyway, the corner, we were sitting on it in our chairs, and here comes the Burger King float.

Not the best picture cause all you can see is the back of her head. But trust me on this one - she looked just as ridiculous as he did. Not knowing, however, that the Burger KING was married... Savannah pondered who this lady was for a minute before deciding that it had to be his wife. So she shouts, "Look Mom! There's Mrs. Burger!!" Everyone within hearing distance got a good chuckle out of it. My standard reply, as "Look MOM!!" preceded ANYTHING that came out of all of the girls' mouths for the entire 2 hours, was "Wow. Yeah. I see it." (I tried to convey the enthusiasm via written text. Did it work? Could you visualize my cartwheels?) And of course, after each "Look Mom!!! etc. etc." came "Take a picture!!!" So there it is. However, Lacey wasn't as quick to let the "Mrs. Burger" thing go as I was. She looked to Savannah and nicely, albeit drenched in sarcasm and dipped in a pot of "you stupid idiot", says to Savannah - "Uhmmm, I think you mean Burger QUEEN, Savannah???" haha. Savannah was good enough sport to giggle at herself and say, "Oh yeah, ok, Burger Queen." In Savannah's defense I piped up with, "Either one girls - Burger Queen... Mrs. Burger - I'm sure she answers to either one." :)

We went to the parade last year too. And toward the end there is a float with some old guys on it shooting holes through the tops of straw hats with guns. (Don't ask me why.) And then they hand out the hats with holes in them to people watching. (Again... hmmmm.) Anyhow, Lacey got one last year. And whatddya know... she did this year too. So now we have, not one, but TWO hideously ugly straw hats with holes through the top of them. I wonder how much they would go for on eBay? The guy in the yellow is putting the hat on Lacey's head and that's Savannah's noggin' in the way so you can't see Lacey.

Then... there's Lacey. Obviously quite ecstatic about the fortunate luck she must have to have gotten TWO hats now. (And we won't tell her this, but I think it's hysterically adorable that her crooked front tooth seems to match well with the hat. :P)

Overall, it was a very nice morning. Here are some other random photos:

It was so nice Lacey even had to hold the hair off her neck. lol:

The girls not in their chairs that they had to bring:

Dion on her "perch" so she could see everything and using her hand for a visor:

Addie with a flower that someone gave her:

Savannah and I:

Us:

What's a parade without nasty parade popcorn?:

THE END:

I didn't end up posting all the rear-end shots of everything... you're welcome. :) Here we are walking back to the car. Lacey in her fashion savvy hat and the girls being troopers and packing their chairs.

It's days like these that make all the other difficult ones worth it. I am truly blessed.

I miss them.

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." ~ Honore' de Balzac

"Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life." ~ Sophocles

Hi. I have been meaning to write a blog for the last week now since finding out I got a job. I know it's probably going to be a big surprise to a lot of you, as it was me, because I know I wasn't looking or planning on employment, right. School is still going to be a priority. I will continue on in it but taking fewer units, meaning fewer scholarships and less financial aid, meaning another source of income would be a good idea. This last semester was a big learning experience. 10 years ago and a few kids less and sure... 14 units would be a breeze. But it's really unreasonable for me to think I could do it... or at least do it and do it well... with all the different directions I am going. That is really hard for me to admit to be honest.

So, I would love to tell you about my job as I am really excited about it. It's a blessing, really... considering the circumstances I am very thankful. But I don't feel like talking about it right now. :( Because at the moment I am forcing myself to think positively about the job. Because no matter how many things are wonderful about it... no matter how ideal or a God-send this job is, it takes me from my kids - bottom line. The pros could be 10 pages long and you put missing my kids, more specifically Dion since I can be off in time to get the older kids from school, on the con list and game over. She's my other half. The last three/four years have not been the most pleasant for us, and I'm sitting here crying because I think I am coming to a realization in this very moment through the experiences of this last week, and I think I have put a big burden on my children.

They are my life. They define me. I am nothing and no one if I am not their mother. Is that wrong?

And now I go take them to all of their places in the morning and I go to work and I sit at my desk (actually I'll describe the job to you later as that is not really an accurate description of what I do) and I think to myself, "What now. What is this? Who am I?". I mean, sure I've been away from them here and there before. But fortunately, thanks to technology, I've been able to attend school the last couple years via internet courses and night classes without having to leave them much. And you know what's weird is that even if I were home and the older three were away at school I would still be feeling like I was being their mother; I would be making their beds, washing their stinky socks, stubbing my toe on their toys, cleaning up toast crumbs that were all over the kitchen from breakfast. I'd be cleaning out their hamsters cage that they just HAD to have. And now I don't do that. My house sits here empty and quiet all day and I don't like it. Today was Dion's first day at a new babysitters. I dropped her off and ruined my makeup on the way to work crying about it. She was fine about it. I had to tickle a kiss and squeeze out of her because she was so excited about going. It's a young girl from our church, about 15 I think, who actually taught Dion's Sunday school class for a while. Her name is Jordan and her parents are the Youth Ministry Leaders at Calvary Chapel. I KNOW she is a great girl and her whole family adores my kids so I can't even begin to tell you how much I have thanked God that she is available to watch Dion for me. I did have a laugh when I picked her up today and she told me about her morning. :) Remind me to tell you about it later when my screen isn't so blurry from tears. It has to do with a "phat fuffy tat". lol.

Anyway, grrrr... I guess, like everything else in life, this will be an adjustment and it will take time and we are us so we will make it through and be just fine. Right? You know... this brings me onto another topic I probably shouldn't talk about when I am in this state. But oh well. Mike. I try not to be bitter or talk badly about him. We all have our demons - this, I know. And I will always care about him and his well being. But really, it's moments like these when my heart hurts for my children and all I want is what's best for them and I can't give it to them. I can't because he is selfish and he screwed it all up. Everyone knows how long and hard I tried to save our family. And most importantly... I finally know. I finally realize that I really did do EVERYTHING in my power to salvage the family and the life that I had built and that I had wanted to last forever. And when it shattered into a million pieces I thought I'd never be able to put it back together... but we have and the kids and I are better for it. And I know that if ever God sends a man and a father into our lives he will absolutely be the most appreciated and cherished person to walk this Earth. Should it never happen... we are still okay.

Anyway, that was way off track. The point is... I miss Dion. I miss feeling like a good Mother and homemaker. But it's only been 4 days, it's bound to get easier. But is that such a good thing? I don't want it to get easier. I mean, I do... but I don't. Grrr... I just mean, I don't want to be okay with not being everything my children need - after all, I'm all they have. Hopefully you know what I mean.

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." ~ John W. Whitehead. What will that message be? When my children are grown what will they say about the kind of Mother I was? Was I too busy at work to volunteer in their class like everyone else's mother did? Did we eat take-out too much cause I was too tired to cook? Did they have to wear the same pants two days in a row because I forgot to do laundry? Did I not open my mind to the possibility of finding a responsible man to be a good influence in their lives?

Does every single mom go through this? Just in case they do... I will pray for them, everyday. I will pray their hearts don't hurt as much as mine right now and that they will find the strength to get up and go another day no matter what.

I'll be back soon with a much more pleasant blog. :) God Bless! ~me~

Discovered a great show, I think.

Okay, so I'm in a good mood and am really finding much of everything quite easily amusing this morning. Tell you something you didn't already assume as much from me, right? Shush. :)

So I was at Blockbuster last night letting Shane and his friend that was staying over get a couple Playstation games, because you know the small fortune that I've invested in the stacks of games I've already bought just don't cut it when there is a friend over.... noooooo, we have to go and spend half of what my car costs to rent new video games. So anyway, I was walking around the store talking on my phone (surprise, surprise) and I came across these wall pictures that Blockbuster has for sale in there. There were a row of ones from the tv show, The Office. Anyone watch that? Well I don't. I mean, I've seen bits and pieces of it a few times or saw a commercial for it while watching Dr. Phil or something. (which, that is a lie because I don't even know what channel The Office is on but Dr. Phil is really the only show that I might make time to watch if I know it's going to be a good one... so I just connected the dots. Don't correct me if I'm wrong. ;) Anywayyyyy... so I was reading them to this guy that I was talking to, probably making an ass outta myself, okay - you can stop with the what's new thing, and I was dying laughing. But, because I have absolutely NO ability to retain things of such a useless, albeit hysterical, nature I've forgotten what the posters said. I could call the guy and ask him if he rememebers what they were but he likely doesn't and I don't want to force him to have to admit to not paying attention to my pointless, random rants. Soooo... all that to get to this point... I was Googling quotes from The Office trying to find the one that I thought was so funny... and I haven't found it yet because I got distracted by me laughing so hard... but I have found some other ones. Thought maybe you'd enjoy, and if you don't... fake it! Here they are:

Michael (reading Dwight's complaint): "This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone."
Jim: That actually took awhile. I had to put uh more and more nickels into his handset, til he got used to the weight, and then I just … took them all out.

Ok, so that one you have to visualize... think of someone that really annoys you and then picture all the time invested in adding coins to the earpiece of their phone paying off when you take the coins out and they answer the phone next and slam it into their temple. lol. And no, people don't put the phone up to their temple but temple or forehead is funnier than slaming it into their ear... really. Okay, now reread the quote. It's funnier. Trust me.

Dwight Schrute: Okay, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael Scott: Uh, none: you're picking a healthcare plan.
Dwight Schrute: Okay we'll table that for now...

lol. That would probably be me if I were a boss. How many people can I fire when I am supposed to be picking a healthcare plan? lmfao. And I watched a clip online so if you have ever seen the show you'll know how dry and mundane these people are, which makes it even funnier.

Jan: Michael, it has nothing to with your looks, okay? It's your– it's your personality. I mean you're obnoxious, and rude, and, and, and… stupid. And… you do have coffee breath, by the way. And, and, I don't agree about the B.O., but you are very, very inconsiderate.
Michael Scott: So, my looks don't have anything to do with it?
Jan: [sighs] Oh God.

Wouldn't it be great to be able to be brutally honest like that? I'd feel much better. They wouldn't. But how is that releveant really? lol. KIDDING!

Okay, so I've a ton more but I bet half of you are already phoning the Emergency Crisis Center hotline to see if the local looney bin has an avaliable bed. Save yourself some time... they don't.. I checked. What? I needed a vacation! But seriously, it's Red Bluf... they don't. ;)

Lots more stuff to write about... but I got all of my bins of Christmas decorations out this morning and I've no chitlins running around so I am going to exercise my cleaning and organzing and decorating OCD a bit.

Hope this finds you all having a great weekend!!!

xo ~me~

Let the rain fall, I don't care.

Bleugh!!!

So I've been sitting here meaning to write a blog. I've started typing only to delete several times now, which is frustrating as I don't have time to be wasting - generally speaking. So now I have to run to class... well after I shower and take the kids to Megan's... and I don't feel better like I thought a good 72 w.p.m. typing session would do me. I don't really know what will make me feel better, except for time, and that's out of the question because all of my patience is spent on so many other aspects of my life... for parts of my life I just want immediate gratification. I know, selfish and impossible, but I don't remember saying that I was going to be rational or reasonable in this blog, did I? No. Good. :)

Sometimes it seems as though a good long rant about nothing, everything, something, anything... would help to clear my head and maybe bring about a sense of relief or clarity. But probably not. Not for me atleast. Most of you know I can talk circles around you... just imagine for a second all the circles I talk around myself. lol.

Alright, so here's what I've done. I ended up typing again... a whole new speal... that makes three now. lol. But instead of deleting this one I've copied and pasted it elsewhere and just may post it should I still feel the need later. INSTEAD... here my mood swing... lmao...
Life is just fine. Sure, it could be better. But then again, it could get much worse. So I am going to be grateful... for my health, for my healthy children whom I don't have to beat in order for them to be amazingly wonderful because God gifted them to me like that naturally. I am going to be thankful for the headache I have after hours of homework because it means I'm smart enough and blessed enough to have the oppurtunity for an education in which to be able to provide for my kids better. I am going to be thankful for the ache that my heart feels when I miss someone specific because it means I am still capable of genuine care and love despite the wall I thought I had previously built. I will be thankful for the friends that I have because they are amazing and it means I am doing something right in order to have these people in my life.
None of this means I am fake or putting on a front... there are things in my life right now that I would give up a LOT to change... what this means is that I choose to not let it get the best of me. Things that are meant to be will be. And things that aren't will fade away. Either way...

everything is going to be alright.

Anyone who bought all that should pay me... really... that was a LOT of effort. hahaha.

I'm nauseous. That's good though. Better than bing eating out of depression. :) What an ugly cycle that would be.

... more to come...

My view from the peanut gallery.

Homemaking a major at one college

Okay... so this is a little behind the news, I know... but I've been busy; and thank goodness for the old addage that things are better late than never. The clip above is from August 24th... you can watch it now or later or never... whichever you prefer. I saw it when it aired back in August and I sat down at my computer real quick and typed a letter about it. I don't know that I ever really planned on sending it... but I guess, like EVERYTHING else under the sun, I had an opinion on it. So I'll share with you. :) You lucky dog, you! ;)

Keep in mind this was typed out in just a few minutes... because I'm not actually sending it I never took the time to really proofread or format or anything... so just try to follow my infamous rabbit trails. lol.

To: The Today Show


I was watching your show this morning and my ears perked up when I heard the story on the Southern Baptist College that is now offering a degree in homemaking. Despite packing three lunches, loading cereal bowls into the dishwasher, stopping to brush hair and help tie shoes, all the while randomly remembering and adding items to my shopping list on the fridge, I couldn’t help but get slightly offended by your female guest speaker. I’m not including men in this argument as they were not a part of the discussion for this college course. Homemaking is a choice, a lifestyle, something to take pride in and enjoy. According to USA Today 5.4 million mothers are making that decision. It’s amazing how when a tragedy occurs within the youth’s population, whether it be a shoot-out in a school, increased drug use and pregnancy, or just plain disrespect society immediately turns to the parents with millions of fingers asking where “we” were and holding us accountable. Well then what’s wrong with offering education about proven ways to run a successful home and enjoy a productive, less-stressed home life?

I can think of two non-religious clichés about child rearing to help prove my point:
“Children are our future.” Well I know that I want my future to be as bright as possible. And if there is a class out there that teaches me at least one lesson or skill on how to be more self-confident and successful in my role as a parent then I’d take it. I mean… I don’t know about you but I sure as heck did not birth an instruction manual along with each of my four children.
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” I would love to know how to be a strong tree with healthy branches made of knowledge. Homemakers can be like carpenters… they could go around with one hammer in their toolbox hoping to fix everything they came across by just knowing how to use a hammer, or they could fill their toolbox with the tools and the knowledge of how to use these tools and in what situation each tool works best and be prepared for any situation.

If knowledge is power, and most agree is it, then I would LOVE the opportunity to be the most powerful mom, wife, and homemaker possible by learning the information and gaining the knowledge to be the most productive, efficient homemaker I could be. The satisfaction I get from knowing I raised productive, respectful, healthy children in today’s world; knowing my husband (for purposes of this argument, we’ll pretend I have one – and no, I don’t think I’m divorced because I need this course, lol) can come home to a healthy, home-cooked meal after a hard day’s work and sleep in a clean bed; knowing everyone who lives in my home feels safe and free to be who they are as individuals in a world of judgment – could not be surpassed by any gold nameplate on a door followed by letters like CEO or VP, or any place in the Fortune 500 companies.

If I were to spend money on an education why not make it one as versatile as homemaking? An education that can be used up until the very day I die, and more importantly, one that I can pass down to my children and around to my friends and family. I would love to defend the millions of homemakers that were cheerfully Windexing their television screen, who stopped to rub a bit harder over that critics face, and tell her this opportunity for education isn’t time-warping us back to the 50’s. Contrarily, it’s preparing us for better tomorrow and a sense of security - despite our 5-year-old’s card flips in Kindergarten, our teenagers speeding tickets, the burnt casserole, the falling down stacks of laundry, or our husband’s boot prints or tie left on the ground – that just maybe, we know what we are doing and are one of the best in our chosen field.

Sincerely, A hep-chick in her poodle skirt with pink rollers in baking a pie in the kitchen while listening to Elvis Presley and watching I Love Lucy. ;)

Newest Fav Band/Song

So I've stumbled across a pretty fabulous band called Johnny Panic. All their songs are amazing but this cover song seems fitting for our page as the kids adore it. Hope you enjoy. xo

Still alive. :)

Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!

Here's your icon for this post. :) I figured you'd be looking for it so I'll get it up right from the get go.

Thank goodness you all love me so much. lol. Shall we give it another go? I mean... even if I keep up the way I have been you'll at least get one or two decent updates out of me in a year. Ohhhh, where to begin.

Well, I was rereading some of my other posts and boy are my kids cute. ;) I suppose I'll start with them since they are so fantastic. One of those good news first scenarios. Although, I don't know that I have any real bad news at the moment. Well that's not entirely true, but we'll see how positive I can make it. lol.

This probably sounds a little repetitive of my first post back in February or whenever it was, but it was parent/teacher conferences again last month. This time Shane is in the 4th grade, Lacey in 2nd, and it's Savannah's first year of kindergarten. This is our first full year in public school so I was a little hesitant. However, I am the product of public school and seem to have survived the tragedy. lol. I really am not saying anything bad about public school, Grandma Lengtat has been a public school teacher forever. I guess I just like the idea of a Christian private school because back when I was going through my restraining order and divorce and stuff, when Shane was the only one in school, he went to a Catholic school. It was great education-wise but it exposed him to contradictory beliefs that I was in no position to answer at that time. It was all I could do to get through 2 minutes, let alone trying to explain to my 6 year old why we don't give Mother Mary presents even though everyone else in his school does. Anyway, this realization also reiterated how much MORE pressure there would be if he went to a public school. I was lucky/dumb enough to make it financially possible for the three older kids to go to a Christian private school for at least their pre-k and kindergarten years, Shane even into the 2nd grade. Except for Savannah who is in Kindergarten this year. Well that was quite the unnecessary spill... all of that to get to this...

I love parent/teacher conference days.

I had two the other day: one for Lacey and the other one for Savannah. The conferences went GREAT! Savannah's was first, the preschool she went to was very academically oriented so she had a great start. But we read a lot at home and do a lot of arts and craft and stuff so I like to think that all helps. Plus I also like to believe my kids inherited some of my natural smarts. :P Her teacher showed me her report card and to make a long story short, Savannah has met and/or exceeded ALL of the standards for entering the 1st grade at the beginning of this, her Kindergarten year. She is so far ahead of all the other students in her class. The teacher said that nonetheless she still is enthusiastic about doing all her work and doing a really good job. The greatest part was that she said Savannah is such a sweetheart and very obedient and follows directions very well. And also that she is very helpful and plays great with all the other kids. She called her the "teacher's dream" of a student. YAY! :) :) This is a relief to me as I worry about her sometimes.... she was at a REALLY vulnerable age when things were ugly with her dad so I worry how much of a negative impact that will have on her. But so far, so good. :)

Then it was Lacey's turn. Lacey went to the same private school for Kindergarten that Savannah did pre-school so I know that helped. Plus last year they tried to see if I wanted to let Lacey skip a grade since she had tested at a higher grade level. I said no thanks. Anyway, we sat down and her teacher said basically he had nothing really to say except that she is the perfect student. She, alone, he said, sets the mood in the entire class and it's always positive. He said she is like his teacher aide because she always finishes her work first and gets a perfect score and then is always thoughtful enough to go around and help other kids. He said I should write a parenting book! WOO-HOO! :) :) He ranted and raved the entire time, showing me all of her 100 percent score in all subjects, math, reading, language, etc. Her reading stars are already off the chart and the semester is only half over. :)

I had Shane's parent/teacher conference a couple days later. It went really well, especially considering I wasn't too sure about it. They've put Shane in a combined classroom. A 4th/5th grade class, with one teacher, 30 students, and no aid. Can we say.... "RED FLAGS"??? I mean this is Shane's first year with letter grades, first year where he is actually going to be held accountable for his work. And at 9 years old I don't expect that he will be as independent and focused on his own as he should be to do really really well. A 5th grader? Yes, perhaps, at least more likely. Anyway, I was less than thrilled at the beginning of the school year but since I really liked the teacher, and am one for always giving something a chance (or too many chances which is a whole nother can of blog), I decided to bear with it till Back to School Night to be able to go and see what it was about and by then have a feel for how Shane was doing. Well back to school night only reiterated my assumption on how independently the kids had to work. I listened to her explain how she splits her time between the fourth and fifth graders and how most of their tests and stuff are taken on computers. What happened to lecture time? What happened to class projects? I don't know... I just wasn't feeling it I guess, and as a mother you either feel it or you don't. End of debate. I was also looking at his grades and he had taken 4 maths tests... three were A's and one was a D. Huh? So I checked into it. And it turns out that the one he got a really bad grade on he simply wasn't prepared for with scratch paper and stuff because it was long hand math problems. Since his teacher was on the 5th grader side of the room he wasn't allowed to get up from the computer to fetch supplies. Here is the problem, I expect that Shane be prepared, I'm not excusing that it was ultimately his responsibility to have his supplies ready. I am, however, drawing attention to the fact that had he been in a traditional classroom it is reasonable to assume he could raise his hand a retrieve the needed supplies. Anyway... that was exactly my concern. I expect that Shane bring home good grades by making good choices to pay attention in class and do the required work to the best of his abilities. On the same token, I will not fault him for issues of political/money saving tactics employed by the school district that impede his ability to adjust and learn the ropes of his newly independent work load. So that was Back to School Night about a month and a half ago. After a couple lengthy, very productive chats with his teacher expressing my concern and expectations, I decided to leave Shane in there. Back to the point of the parent/teacher conference. HE IS DOING GREAT! He has all A's with the exception of 2 B's. He made the Honor Roll. And his teacher said he is one of the most responsible, on task students in her class. :) :) :) I'm so proud of him!! I am so proud of them all.

Last, but certainly not least, is Ms. Dion Marie. She "home schools" as she tells everyone. Which is her take on sitting at the kitchen table with me in the morning coloring and writing her alphabet and numbers while I study. She is quite the smarty pants though. She can write her own name, recognize almost all letters of the alphabet, count to 20 and write most of her numbers, among a slew of other really impressive feats for a 3-year-old. She gets a little restless without the old kids around as she is far from used to being an "only child" - especially now that our little foster boy, Arik, has gone.

Well I've so much more to write. But this shall tide you over until next time, which I promise will be sooner than the year 2014. :)

I sincerely hope this finds you all well. Look forward to hearing from you.

xo

~Heather and Kids~

p.s. What's a blog without some pics??? Here are a few from Labor Day weekend at the cabin.

Ms. Savannah Lee with her catch of the day! :) (there were a bunch of girls there so we had quite the time deciding who got the pleasure of unhooking the fish... group effort, had to have been there. lol)

Lacey Mae's butt was fixed there.

haha. It's not the picture of child abuse that it looks like. She was smiling till the fish flicked it's tail and got too close to her for comfort.

She's never to freaked out to pose though. This was seconds later after all I said was, "Smile, Dion!" lol (Notice the leg prop? haha)

Yep... he's turning into quite the young man, isn't he? :)

A better one of Dion. The water was faaaaa-reeeezing!

It seems like just yesterday he had training wheels on his bike. Then his first day riding without them. And now this??? I kissed him goodnight the night before school started... and cried for 10 minutes after he walked down the hall because I realized I didn't have to bend down to hug him and give him a kiss. He just looked up and smooched me... no tip toes, no swooping down, none of it. :_(

A Break!

Hello!

Well last weekend I had my 10-year high school reunion. Wow! I can't believe I am that old. lol. I unfortunately took on a large portion of the planning and setting up, so I was a little stressed about the whole weekend. It went well though, overall. I am not speaking to my life-long friend, Chelsey (Wilson). We have been friends since Kindergarten. A long time, I know. We have had our offs and ons throughout the years. I started having kids when she was off in college being a partying sororiety girl. Then she wasn't the most supportive when Mike and I were going through all of our stuff a few years back. Well, I shouldn't say not supportive - it was just in more of a judgemental and opinionated way than I needed at the time. Basically, we have had our falling outs but have managed to fall back "in" eventually. I don't know if that will happen this time though. Anyway, the point of the story was that needless to say Chelsey was at the reunion. It was kinda akward. Plus everyone remembered us being pretty best friends all through childhood and the fact that we didn't even look in each other's direction and went out of our way to not be in the same group pictures was a little obvious. Kinda childish, I know, but life nonetheless. Saturday night we had an "adult" catered dinner at a friends house. 26/33 classmates were able to show up so that was a pretty good turn-out for a 10-year reunion. Then on Sunday we all met at the park for a BBQ and stuff. Everyone brought their kids and friends and family were invited as well so it was really nice. Here are a couple pics.

This is the Los Molinos High School Graduating Class of 1997 10-year reunion pic (well most of us).

This is a picture of me with a couple girlfriends. Actually, friends since grammar school- Rachel and Missy.

This is a picture of some of the graduate's kids at the park on Sunday. I have the oldest! And the most! lol. Also, I had been enrolled in Statistics and Anatomy for the Summer semester. I have decided to drop both of those classes. The bottom line is that summer courses are basically condensed semesters. So they are essentially cramming 24-27 weeks worth of work into anywhere between 5-9 weeks. My statistics class was only 5 weeks, which meant I was going to be having 2 hours worth of homework every day and an exam every other day for the next 5 weeks... while all five of my kids are home! NOT going to happen. lol. I want to enjoy the summer with the kids. They grow up too quickly. And I could tell I was going to just be stressed. So it'll set me back a semester. It'll be worth it!!

Well, I have housework and such (BUT NO HOMEWORK!!! YAY!). I will catch ya on the flip side.

~me~

~Summer Atlast~

Okay, well the last semester really kicked my butt... but it's over!! Yeah! I am still alive. :) Here is what my transcript looks like as of the end of this last semester.

Transcript
0684959 Heather Dainauskus

Transcript Information
Course/Section and Title Grade Credits Term 1
PSYC-1A General Psychology A 3.00 2006F
SOC-1 Introduction to Sociology B 3.00 2006F
MATH-101 Basic Algebra A 3.00 2006F
ENGL-1A Reading & Composition A 4.00 2006F
CHEM-2A Introduction to Chemistry A 5.00 2007S
SPCH-60 Public Speaking A 3.00 2007S
ENGL-31 Creative Writing A 3.00 2007S
MATH-102 Intermediate Algebra B 4.00 2007S

Total Earned Credits 28.00
Total Grade Points 105.00
Cumulative GPA 3.750

I shouldn't have gotten a 'B' in Math 102 this last semester because I am really good at math and I actually enjoy it. However, I spent A LOT of time trying to make sure I did well in Speech and Chemistry, which were my harder classes. So I kind of slacked on the Math until the last minute. Oh well... we live and learn. :)

I am taking Anatomy and Statistics over the summer. AHH! Scary. :) But I love the fact that it is only for 6 weeks instead of the semester long 18-21 weeks. I'm one of those "immediate gratification seeking" persons. lol. Then in the Fall I will take Microbiology and a couple other required courses in order to transfer to Chico in the Spring of next year. It's going.... :)

Other than that... the kids just finished up their Little League season on Saturday. That was a relief. Savannah graduated preschool last Friday...

And Addie also graduated from pre-school the same day...

But the older kids won't get out until the 20th. Kind of a short summer. It seems they are getting shorter and shorter as the years go by. Kinda sad for the kids, I think.

Here is one of my most favorite pics of Savannah EVER! At Uncle Justin's birthday part.

Well, I've gotta skidattle. Just thought I'd update this a little. Hope this finds all of you well. :)

With Love,

~me~